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5 Mental Disorders That Can Totally Get You Laid

We don’t want to make light of mental disorders or its sufferers, but you have to admit sometimes a person can 3d nls device be just mentally ill enough to be cool. After all, chicks totally dig troubled guys.

Now, when we say 3d nls device “troubled, we’re not talking about that one naked dude on the subway who constantly masturbates and can only talk in machine code. No, we mean the complex and difficult soul, present in 70 percent of Oscar-winning movies, who spends two hours battling against his inner demons while being submerged up

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to neck level in pussy. You can be that guy, if only you re lucky enough to contract an inconvenient and traumatic brain condition.

Foreign accents immediately make you more interesting and exotic to the opposite sex, even if you’re a fat, balding IT tech with a cubicle papered in Battlestar Galactica posters. The trouble is, you don’t know which accent you’re going to get. Some (Irish, for example) are business-class tickets to vaginatown, whereas others make you want to claw your own ears off and then eat them.

You could get lucky, like the lady who woke up speaking a strong Jamaican patois. Or, in a chilling worst-case scenario, you might end up like the woman who regained consciousness thinking she was French.

It’s otherwise known as Dr. Strangelove Syndrome, which should give you an idea of its symptoms. One hand appears to act independently of the rest of the sufferer’s body, performing complex actions that are often in direct opposition to the person’s intention. Your right hand, for example, might shake that of your girlfriend’s father, while your left hand reaches around and gives him a cheeky pinch on his buttocks.

Due to its willfulness, sufferers tend to associate the hand with a specific personality, which is usually that of a total fucking dickhead.

For a shy person, a rogue hand is an invaluable gift. Say a girl has been throwing you some subtle “bone me” signals that you’ve been too damn introverted to notice or believe. But your hand has noticed, and you watch in awe as its response leaves absolutely no room for doubt in the girl’s mind 3d nls device that you are interested in commencing intercourse. To clinch the deal, you can now give 3d nls device her a line such as “Hey baby, do you know what my hand will be doing in 20 minutes? (cock eyebrow suggestively) Me neither,

Without a doubt. The 3d nls device problem with most of these disorders is that you actually need to have them in order to reap their benefits. With Stendhal’s Syndrome, you merely need the object of your arousal to think you have it. Just mention to 3d nls device your quarry that you

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suffer fits of dementia 3d nls device when exposed to overwhelming beauty, then look at his/her face and immediately crash convulsing to the floor, gibbering and foaming at the mouth. Maybe give the ground a couple of headbutts and chew off a portion of your tongue. Who isn’t going to fall for that?

This is the motherlode, baby. Synesthesia has long been associated with high levels of creativity, and everybody knows that chicks get some heavyset boners for creative guys. Justin Chancellor from Tool has the condition, and 3d nls device he requires a snow plow to clear his driveway of boobies every morning. Richard James from Aphex Twin perceives music as colour, and girls perceive him as a walking penis. Pharrell Williams is the geekiest synesthete on the planet, yet as soon as he opens his front door, the sky above him is instantly filled with flocks of detached female underwear engaged in an urgent crotch-to-face migration 3d nls device.